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|Friday, May 14th, 2004|
|Well lifes changed
Ive had bypass surgery on my stomach. one week prior i lost 15 lbs. i havent looked at a scale since last week tuesday. im sure i lost more. Nik says i have.
|Sunday, August 17th, 2003|
Rosemary Herbal Soothing Rinse
The last dog days of summer may exact their toll on hair and skin. Both can be soothed and revitalized by a simple infusion of rosemary in spring water. To do this, make a strong rosemary tea by steeping the herb in boiled spring water. Store the tea in a sterile covered jar, and keep chilled. Use as a wonderfully fragrant hair rinse to stimulate the scalp and revitalize your sun-damaged tresses. Take a rosemary-infused bath to calm itchy sun-exposed skin. Splash and smooth the chilled tea on skin before an evening outdoors; rosemary also acts as a natural insect repellent. Applied to stings and bites, rosemary helps quell the itching and inflammation. Current Mood: hopeful
|Saturday, August 9th, 2003|
lots of things are unknown at this point in time. people whom i thought were people i knew.. are not. they choose to move on. not that i havent delt with this before. its just lonely.
I just walked in from having Circle at Dancing Moon. twas lovely. did a huge meditation casting on some items for balance/anti-stress and well being. We had 13 people there tonight.. good number for this. seems its growing each time. good energies. My uncle made me a beautiful athame out of deer antler and stone, he lapped out of a stone i forget what it is.. he used the same slab for my brothers athame. I admire my brothers more. his was made correctly..I should not be insulted as it was a gift but it was not made the same way or manner. the blade of stone should not wiggle..and he used leather and glue to wrap the blade tang on/into the bone..hence it moves ever so slightly. Just unhappy with it. I need to cleanse it. His creepy uncle ricky is all over it. Not that I dont like my uncle. just needs to be cleaned. I should tell him that it moves..problem is he will take 13 years to return it back to me if I sent it back to Tampa. :(
in recent.. ive had procedures going on. Will have another one at the end of the month. I feel like im dying at the moment.. my chest hurts on the left side..yay maybe the goddess wants me now. problem is I want to drive my new car. Oh well lemme drive it a little longer. I hope to keep it for many years. my trusty steed of pewter and black leather.. I deserve it. I work hard.
I need more time off.
Saw Iron Maiden and Def Leppard.. gotta say i had such a ball "Rocking out with my cock out" to Joe singing Rocket and Pour Some Sugar on Me.. Rick "Sav" STILL has it.. Would fuck him in a heart beat..lol he's 20 years older and still makes me go..hmmmm yeah..lol damn mop headed bass players..what is it with me.. and them damn bass players with fucking curly hair?? BTW.. Vivian Campbell..Amazing .. truely gifted..but SHAVE THE FUCKING RUG..omg ewwww.. that dude has a RUG..so unattractive..lol and Joe has fucking a HUGE ball Sack to be standing on the stage there..singing "make love..like a man, thats what i am..im a man" HOLY fucking funny shit..lol That should be the gay mans calling athem theme to some gay reality TV show.. i couldnt STOP laughing while he's all serious singing that song. im with my best friend and saying..omg he is not gonna go into that song..and he did..lol
Spoke to Sam today..told her I saw them.. both agreed it would be killer to see Def Leppard play Gods Of War.
hence me cranking Hysteria at work and in the car. Current Mood: chipper
REASONS WHY I AM TIRED:
>For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep, not enough
>sunshine, too much pressure from my job, earwax buildup, poor blood or
>anything else I could think of. But now I found out the real reason:
>I'm tired because I'm overworked. Here's why:
>1. The population of this country is 273 million. 140 million are retired.
>That leaves 133 million to do the work.
>2. There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work.
>3. Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving
>19 million to do the work.
>4. 2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing the
>Which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.
>5. Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for state and city
>governments. And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
>6. At any given time there are 188,000 people inhospitals, leaving
>to do the work.
>7. Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people
>to do the work. You and me.
>And there you are sitting on your butt, at your computer, reading jokes.
>Nice, really nice...
|Wednesday, August 6th, 2003|
I attempted to clean some of my old paper work out this evening. and I came across my old jobs termination letter..read it and wondered to myself.. will this happen again. I was told it wouldnt..but i cant help but being thrown back into that chaotic feeling that whole day created for me.. right back at that neurotic moment when my stomach clenched in knots and everything is doubtful. i just got so frigging freaked out i started crying working myself up. Now I need to go into work and once again watch my P's and Q's.. be proper and professional. Need to re-adjust and re-affirm my position along with some kinda solid ground then again.. october can roll around..and no matter what i am told from upstairs.. i can be sent..another one of those letters.
my opinion is not needed by those who are in charge and i need to remember that as to not to overstep my boundaries.
Tmmrw will be a challenge knowing that I have one person telling me to hold up on sending some information out vs. another person asking me to do the job. This project is becoming harder. What started out as a simple suggestion and re-updating of a list has become an "announcement" of position to which the person might or might not keep. I dislike knowing information and seemingly forget to remember just how people like to battle over office turf. I dislike it fully.
|Thursday, July 24th, 2003|
A young boy went to his father and asked, "what's the difference
> > > between potentially and realistically." The father answered,
> > > "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Denzel Washington for
> > > one million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would
> > > sleep with P Diddy for one million dollars. Come back and tell me
> > > what you've learned." So the boy went to his mother and
> > > asked, "Would you sleep with Denzel Washington for one million
> > > dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course I would. I wouldn't
> > > pass up an opportunity like that!" Then the boy went to his sister
> > > and asked, "Would you sleep with P Diddy for one
> > > million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my gosh! I'd be nuts to
> > > pass that up!"
> > > The boy thought about it for two or three days and went back to his
> > > dad. His father asked him if he'd found out the difference between
> > > "potentially and realistically."
> > > The boy replied, "Yes. Potentially we're sitting on two million
> > > dollars, but realistically we're living with two hoes. Current Mood: amused
|Sunday, July 13th, 2003|
A hippie gets on a bus and spies a pretty young nun. He sits down next to her, and asks her: "Can we have sex?"
"No," she replies, "I'm married to God." She stands up, and gets off at the next stop.
The bus driver, who overheard, turns to the hippie and says:
"I can tell you how to get to have sex with her!"
"Yeah?", says the hippie.
"Yeah!", say the bus driver. "She goes to the cemetery every Tuesday night at midnight to pray, so all you have to do is dress up in a robe with a hood, put some of that luminous powder stuff in your beard, and pop up in the cemetery claiming to be God."
The hippie decides to give it a try, and arrives in the cemetery dressed as suggested on the next Tuesday night.
"I am God," he declares to the nun, keeping the hood low about his face. "Have sex with me."
The nun agrees without question, but begs him to restrict himself to anal sex, as she is desperate not to lose her virginity. 'God' agrees, and promptly has his wicked way with her. As he finishes, he jumps up and throws back his hood with a flourish.
"Ha-ha," he cries. "I am the hippie!"
"Ha-ha," cries the nun. "I am the bus driver! Current Mood: amused
|Friday, July 11th, 2003|
One sunny afternoon Superman was out flying around. Crime was slow that day, so he decided to go over to Spiderman's house. Supe: "Hey Spidey, let's go get a burger and a beer!". Spidey: "No can do, Supe. I've got a problem with my Web-shooter. Can't fight crime tomorrow without it". So Superman heads over to the Bat Cave to see what's up. Supe: "Hey, Batman! Let's go get a burger and a beer!". Batman: "Not today, my friend. My BatMobile is down and it must be fixed today. Can't fight crime tomorrow without it". Disgruntled, Superman takes to the air, cruising around the skies when he flies over a penthouse apartment. And what to his SuperVision does he see, but none other than WonderWoman, lying on the deck, spread-eagle, stark-naked! Supe gets a brilliant idea: "They've always said I'm faster than a speeding bullet and I've always wondered what she'd be like with all her Wonder Powers". So he zzoooooommms down and does her in a flash and is gone before anyone can notice. All of a sudden WonderWoman sits up and says, "What was that!?!". Then the Invisible Man gets off her and replies, "I don't know but it hurt like hell!" Current Mood: happy
|Wednesday, July 9th, 2003|
more to type .. I went to the hospital.
shedding my skin. 2 years. we shall see if i live.. or die.
|long hard day
yay ...ronnie is my 2nd friend to be listed..booya..lol
hm..aol sucks as usual.. opeth rules.. im working my ass off.. i need to check in with friends who dont know how to return instant messages.. and ones who tell me they are too busy .. i should just start knocking them off my speak to list and update my cell phone as well.
need to get laid. need money.. need a lotta things..
i want to frigging hit the road..and i cant.
no wheels. Current Mood: devious
|Wednesday, June 25th, 2003|
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good-looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy.
Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week old black Labrador retriever. Men are so easy. Current Mood: amused
|Monday, June 23rd, 2003|
Well hands down... Malamor is impressive live..and Jason is hot. I dont think ive ever met an Ugly Jason.
The Chance in poughkeepsie sucks..but rules..since there is no other venue cept for.. say toads up in new haven ct..and then the palladium up in woosta..Suffocation.. good to see them play again..
cant wait till Malamor puts out the next recording as its been ages.
This weekend.. Grave, Immolation (love them), Malamor, Creamatorium, and some other bands..are playing.. I got a bunch of people to get tickets to the last shows for Malamor/Bloodgasm. I so wanna see these guys make national status eventually. It is cool to see Novembers Doom playing with majors..same with Shadows Fall and Mastodon. Even more exciting is seeing Reggie and the Full Effect playing Irving Plaza soon.. AND OPETH!!!! again.. how "A" loves these guys.
Ive been so fucking busy. Rather be busy then depressed/anxiety prone.
Iron Maiden is coming up next month. I was supposed to go out on a boat on the Hudson river this week end.. never happened
I was supposed to stuff my fat face with sushi..never happened.
went to a crap place called Vintage in the City of White Plains..like 3 blocks from where my office is. Dissapointed.
then went to my usual watering hole.. found it to be filled with the local feliz cumpleanos feista. No one told us.
The new Skinless.. is kinda .. taking some time to getting used to. no funny sound tracks before the songs which made them so pleasing to crank.
i dont want to work no mo. but the paycheck..gotta remind myself thats most important.
My buddy Dan just sent me his new bands music.. Ritual.."steamroller" no vocals.
DAMN its full on true metal. good grinding guitars chugging along.. digging it. he's sent me like 8 other mp3's i gotta dl.. ive been working with local bands so much so nowadays.. im really thinking of going back into doing some part time promo/managment work. that will of course fuck me over for much of my free time. as some of the shit im already doing has eaten into my vacation time at work.
k no mo typing. Current Mood: okay
|Sunday, June 22nd, 2003|
why are all the men i end up meeting.. all seem to have some kinda mental retardation issues.. the one guy who seems perfect..ends up telling me that ..he's learning disabled..which kinda now answers me why he' seems so fucking boring on the phone. not that i mind. but still.. argh.. where are all the normal ..hot long haired heavy metal guys who are into fat chicks.. they dont exist.
|Wednesday, June 11th, 2003|
Famine-struck N Koreans 'eating children'
By Mark Nicol
Cannibalism is increasing in North Korea following another poor harvest and a big cut in international food aid, according to refugees who have fled the stricken country.
Aid agencies are alarmed by refugees' reports that children have been killed and corpses cut up by people desperate for food. Requests by the United Nations World Food Programme (WFP) to be allowed access to "farmers' markets", where human meat is said to be traded, have been turned down by Pyongyang, citing "security reasons".
Anyone caught selling human meat faces execution, but in a report compiled by the North Korean Refugees Assistance Fund (NKRAF), one refugee said: "Pieces of 'special' meat are displayed on straw mats for sale. People know where they came from, but they don't talk about it."
The NKRAF, an aid body set up in China five years ago which helps to smuggle food and medicines into parts of North Korea off-limits to WFP officials, interviewed 200 refugees for the report.
"If a funeral takes place during the day and the burial is performed that evening, the grave may be dug open and the body stolen before morning," said one refugee.
Another witness, named only as Lee, 54, said he feared that his missing grandsons, aged eight and 11, had been killed for food. As he searched widely for them, they boys' friends said they had vanished near a market.
Mr Lee said police who raided a nearby restaurant found body parts. The business's owners were shot.
Gerald Bourke, the WFP's representative in Beijing, said it was difficult for his organisation to substantiate the reports of cannibalism as they were unable to get to the markets. "As in any desperately poor country, it is something we might stumble on," he said. "It's not just a problem for us, but also our donors." Because of the food shortages, many people were having to survive on nine ounces of rations a day - less than half the recommended minimum daily intake.
North Korea's ability to feed itself has been hit by floods, deforestation and lack of farm fertilisers and equipment.
The WFP says Japan provided 500,000 tons of food aid in 2001, making it the biggest donor, but sent nothing last year. Food aid from America has been cut from 340,000 tons in 2001 to 40,000 tons so far this year. Washington has pledged to send a further 60,000 tons if Pyongyang lifts restrictions on the operations of agencies such as the WFP. Current Mood: depressed
|No subject wanted
Theres no one here,
The wind she has died from underneath my wings.
I am ready to fly.
Far beneath me is the ground, so far below.
Above, up high..the sky.
To my future, I see nothing
To my presence, I see Chaos.
To my past, I see my path has taken me once again to a bridge where I might not be able to cross.
I identify with it now.
I am not happy to know it is back, seeping in the disease it is. Kharmic Disease. No longer assertive, just aggressive. I wish to be passive assertive and that part of me seems foreign to me. I Was there once. Now I am here and now I am lost.
To only imagine what others see, think of who i am. I could only guess. I'm told all kinds of things by those around me. Its a placant gesture to satiate the monster with yellow eyes which might appear..and only on the surface does it show, They too see it. Its joked about,I myself joke about it. But they're all waiting for the facade to crack and fail. It is my demenor which has set the standards on how i am approached due to my inability to move like the water thru the incredible vastness in front of me.
They always have.
They= Beyond me.
They= Those unknown thoughts
They= Those who know beyond me in wisdom and experience.
It is fresh to me. Hurts for the moment while in it, Hurts even more like a knife wound after a couple of hours. Like someone who has died hurt.
I am learning to deal, but that too is a interesting lesson due to my position. It might be costly. And it is something I am not willing to give up.
I am disconnected from that world for so long as to when i am offered a glimpse.. I am plunged back into the darkness i so long fought to escape. I escaped and find myself being shoved back down into the abyss that for so long has wanted to suck me back. This time I have a sword. I will go down fighting.
"So fuck you mah man"-Beastie Boys Current Mood: uncomfortable
|Friday, May 23rd, 2003|
|Can I say...
Opeth is godly. In all the glory that the goddess gives to us as mankind exists.. Opeth is godly. And the voice of fury and art exists within these men who create such a epic sound of greatness.. Current Mood: jubilant
|Thursday, May 22nd, 2003|
What a interesting time ive had. Travelled to MA. Stayed with Sam. What a great friend she is to me. I treasure having known her for..its gotta be...summer of 1997..Hartford Ct. 6 years now..I had the notion to call a few people while i had some free time-eating dinner..on the road at a papa ginos.. interesting fast food place. ill give the place a 7 1/2.wow..time flys when your having fun.
Many Metallica shows/tours later..
We've watched our boy, move on. He's happy. I was so pleased to see Jason playing with Voivod in some hole in the wall town called Revere. North of Boston.
Snake is a fucking STRANGE Bird. He even flicked his tounge. Jason mentioned him doing this in a mag article i read a couple of weeks ago. Erotic? Not one bit. Gross..not really..Just strange that he'd do it. It gives the person the heebee jeebie willies knowing that mans tounge possibly could be on some chicks cooch. The dude could be in porno and make millions.
The dude also tries to hard. Like WTF was with the hand gestures?? Mechanical spider mite or a snake going side to side.. I couldnt tell. I asked Sam..she replied.."He's Canadian" -(Which was a whole theme for the weekend FYI)I cant really explain other then the bands having fun on stage..Piggy's a interesting guitar player..interesting guitars as well. overall..Voivod live..was not a dissapointment. I'd see them again. The crowd was a rocking. They've always had this off the beaten path type of music. I sorta know why Jason chose to be in this band. The love of playing. He so seemd comfortable gigging with them. No dirty looks (As seen with Echobrain live)of you fucked up.
I did notice that he was..very on top of things..no matter what was going on. Not the ring master..but..just that much more aware of shit that has to be done. Directing people who have no clue what to do. Like he was so fucking busting his ass..and his paitence was wearing thin because no one knew what the fuck they were doing when using the camera.
He was also under the weather. Told Sam so. I hung in the background.
I never really say much to him other then a "Hello Jay". Seems to be the same thing every time I decide to go see him play. Just a meek hello. Nothing more. I never know what to say to him. There is nothing we really have in common other then the music. Sides March born people dont like dealing with fat Taureans.
I admire the mans ability to play bass like no other player can live on stage..hes proven that hundreds of times over the years I've gotten to witness him play with Metallica.
Psychic wise..theres something about him, I find so interesting to observe and open my 3rd eye. Seems that he's Just got these vibes that send up flags of recognition. It happened in Kentucky 2 years ago, It happened again in MA on thursday. Sometimes I just pick up to much. Its so not my business. I watched him get offstage after soundcheck and he, held his head in his hands like he had a major migraine.
I learned later that night from my boy that he's got concerns. Everyone has them. ITs nothing this man hasnt done before. Cept now he's 20 some odd years older and wiser. More aware, jaded and tired. Just kinda took my buddy aback a bit, so much so he mentioned it to me knowing full well my thought process would be tapping into other energies in the air.
For some reason..I think that might just be it. I wont see this person again in my life time. I know I chose not to see certain others and have specifically avoided crossing paths again with these people.
I hope to the goddess that I will have enough guts to email him again.
Stupid isnt it.
Anyways.. Sepultura.. I love those guys.. NOT a bad bone in the bunch.. Derrick, Igor, Paulo and Andreas (omg..he is still fucking gnarly hot) Igor is still looking adorable as he gets older..but Andreas.every time I see them play..he's always adknowledging me in the audience..its great..the whole band is so interactive with the people watching..what a kicker!
So anyways.. even cooler..Jason got on stage and played Refuse Resist (and another song)fucking amazing.. the crowd was going wild.
Thats something I never thought I'd witness...to see them all play together.
That night.. hockey..mushrooms and driving around boston.
next day.. NEMF.. CAN I SAY...
OPETH is GODLY.
and .. Canada did something right for they gave us Devy.
Who welcomed us with such a BIG ass smile.. I had a blast hanging out with his crew on the tour bus. Cranking out a skipping cd of the Beastie Boys.. liquor, shrooms and water.
Mastodon was amazing, the dudes from Overkill played in the new band..love hate lust kill..or something like that.. dug that totally...Shai Halud my niggas from Poughkipsee NY!!!
so many good bands..some shitty.
but Opeth.. I LOVE THESE GUYS. YOU MUST SEE THEM LIVE.
Super Joint Ritual.. Phil..ranted about members in Pantera.. bitched about being tired.. sang ..maybe 15 minutes..bitched some more about being tired..jamming out..metallica and people pissing him off so much he didnt wanna stay on stage..walked off.. got back on..played a last song....maybe.. just maybe did a set SHORTER then Axl Rose did with GNR.. 21 minutes in total.
2 days of crazy bands
k..my hands hurt.. Im sick..so much shit is coming out of my face.which shouldnt be. every hole..nostril, mouth.. is oooooozing with nasty yellow phlem..tis a ear and throat infection peoples! MAY..should be warm. the Goddess is playing tricks on us all.. Loki .. Loki.. Loki.. Current Mood: sick
|Sunday, May 11th, 2003|
Something about fun music..just changes everything. I was just saying..how much i miss Candlebox. I so wanna know what happened to them. After all these years I finally landed my hands on "Lucy" ..Its quite a home hitter..of course i mention it to Someone ..she laughs her ass off..thinking that my choice is insane.. tried to explain.. not worth it..
But the beasties..something about them just keeps you going on and on and on.
Then again it must have been all that Acid i took while watching the Dj spinning the beasties at the limelight years ago.
Those were the great days. Oh well.I need to quit smoking in general. On the other hand..
Scary what drugs can do to a personality. Im just glad Im not much of a drinker.
Like a butterfly..I shall shed my skin and fly away. One day.
maybe the next. who knows, lethargy. Current Mood: contemplative
|Thursday, May 8th, 2003|
I almost shit on myself.. did i say that?
Warning..DONT eat murrays sugar free cookies and thing you will get away with it..hell it even has a warning on the box..it says..this product with cause liquid shits...
ER was good tonight.. Friends as usual SUCKED.. I hate that show. Love Will and Grace..although its getting pretty played out ..stupid..
I missed WWE..then again im not missing much anymore since the plot line is getting way beyond stupid.
and thats all i gotta say about that. Current Mood: Poopies